All Hail the 80's! (part one)

It has come to my attention that some people have no idea what Critters is. This is clearly unacceptable. But it gives me a perfect reason to start a new sub-section of the blog: The 80's Nostalgia Section! Because upon hearing of this borderline heretic admission regarding this cult classic*, and his lack of knowledge thereof, I naturally have to educate the public in this matter.
So here is the trailer for the first movie, enjoy!



And if you liked it I have the first three movies at home for you to watch. If you haven't seen any you had damn well better watch them regardless of your oppinions of the trailer.

And I do appologize for the color of the text but it can't be helped, it's an 80's entry after all...

/TSO

* Well, some might claim this to be so, that is a fact since I am someone.

Do you have a flag?

Well it's another nightshift. It's friday. It's payday.
But we have a couple of things going for us. It's the good x-ray team and as of yet no über-idiots causing trouble. So I have enough time to write down my latest idea. I think it might be time to break out of this Reinfeldt-abused country and start my very own abused country.

A couple of problems arise when you plan to do this. First off is the flag. It should symbolize unity and strength and strike fear into thoose that look upon it. I think I will leave it to you, the readers to create this. The winner will have the flag shown on the blog as well as an honorary citizenship in Totalitaria. The name is a work in progress as well...

Second is the currency, but that is easy. Just put the face of the glorious leader (me) on there and start printing. Name of the currency might be 1 Kalash = 100 Nikov.

But all this is minor things beside the question of how the country will be run.
It will be a dictatorship with me the supreme leader, given my power from the Gods. That's right, plural. I'm bringing back the norse religion. Only now Loke is in charge...
And you can only become a citizen by sponsorship from a minister of the state. The rest will be slaves. Because as they say: "Slavery: It get's shit done".

Second most important post... I was going to reveal a defence minister. But hey who am I kidding? We will start off a small country without any natural resources. What we need is an offensive minister. We will be like locust swarming the countryside picking up more men and land as we go. They will join our forces of die refusing. And at the front of the never ending assult I hope to find IA. Will you accept this call to arms? You will have complete strategic freedom as long as you bring Norway to heel first of all.

Financial minister now... I am thinking Miss Wonkyness. Mainly because she is the only one that has seen three zeros on a bill without the word monopoly written beside it.

The posts of education and propaganda will be appointed to the same person, SD. Not that there is any connection between the two posts mind you...

Sports minister is the other important post to be appointed. As of yet undecided but any successful applicant will have as a single goal to further the sport of football and qualify us for the world cup. No other sports will exist. Syncronized swimming will be a punishable offence. Anyone caught doing gymnastics will be sentanced to life as a practice-wall when our worst shots pratice free kicks.

More ministers will be appointed as we go along. If you feel you have a role to play in this endeavour then do not hesitate to sign up. What do you have to loose? Except your life, should you dissappoint me.

Your Glorious and Divine Leader
TSO

Something is rotten in the football of Sweden

And it it rotten down to it's core.


Sweden falls further and further from the top of the game as it is played in the world.


Swedish clubs strive and fight for a chance to shine in europe and play with the other teams out there. But swedish football closes in around itself and it's own little world tighter and tighter.
The same managers play the same system and the only thing that changes is which clubs they get paid by. And the clubs pay them. Willingly. How many teams must Jingblad, for example, abuse before clubs wake up and realizes that a new name is needed?
But no, once he is done with IFK Norrköping, his current victim, he will undoubtly find new employment with a premier division side or possibly a top first division team.


Well I wrote victim, but they are the ones that choose him off course. You can't blame rubbish managers for the fact that clubs are willing to pay them money. If some club suddenly told me I'd get paid to play premier division football you can bet your ass that I'd do it. And they can't blame anyone but themselves when I suck.

And that touches on another subject that I hate about football in sweden.
It's the fact that although I am absolutely rubbish, I have one thing going for me in my hunt for a spot in the first eleven. I am just the right age for a swedish manager to want to select me.
In the land where a player aged 24 is considered a promising prospect for the future my 29 years on this here earth puts me among thoose considered just ripe to be among the selected few.


When Arsenal, one of the greatest teams of the world, played today they fielded a starting midfield with the average age of 20 only to substitue two of them later in the game to give playing time to a 17 year old and a 16 year old!


Swedish coaches are reluctant to let a 21 year old time as a sub because "he is still young and has lots to learn. We must'nt rush his development"... How exactly will he learn if he never gets to play? Are swedish youths so much worse than the rest of the worlds? Off course not.


BP sells one of their youths to Juventus. This is a player that, had he been bought by a swedish club in the premier division, would have had many years of loan deals to smaller clubs and b-side action to look forward to before his first chance as a sub for his premier side team. What happens in Juventus? Another of the greats of the world, full of superstars? They immidiatly play him in the first eleven, giving him pleny of taste of first team action.
That is how players learn. That is how they grow. That is how stars are born. Now I'm not saying that he is destined to become a star because they play him a few games, but he has the chance to become one because of it. Noone ever became a star on loan to Jönköping Södra.


And this is where I mean that swedish football is rotten to the core. The swedish FA are the ones that ultimately push for a development like the one we have now. They are behind it all.

This is most obvious in the choice of national coach selection. A man so boring and predictable that even Albania has no problem organizing a draw agains us. A man that chooses to play Daniel Andersson, MFF, before Kim Källström, Lyon. A man that, having a choice between a Rosenberg that has started delivering goals for Bundesliga club Werder Bremen and up and coming starlet Berg in holland, manages to find yet a third and oh so swedish option. Let's give Larsson, Helsingborg IF, a call and see if the old fart has one more championship in him... Now don't get me wrong. That man has done wonders for swedish football and I'll always love him for it. But his time has come and gone. The young must take over.

Furthermore people complain that Ibrahimovic etc don't perform in the national team when they are so good at their clubs. They talk of a lack of heart and will to sacrifice... But how can Ibra possibly be as good in Sweden, the way Lagerbäck has us playing, as he is in Inter with the quality and freedom he has there? Mould the tactics around the players and not vice versa!

And ultimately the swedish referees. They do love their wissles and they prevent any game form building any momentum. This could be laid at the FA's feet as well possibly. If it's them giving out the orders that the ref's are following. But I fear that that is at best only part of the problem. Swedish ref's are just not good enough. That they have idiotic guides about how to interpet the rules don't help off course.
I watched Man Utd-Liverpool earlier today. Had a standard swedish ref been in charge of that game he would probably have called the whole game off after showing his 5th red card in the 20th minute. In england there had been what? One yellow card?

I'm fed up. so here is my quick fix for swedish football:

1. New referees, preferably from england/scotland

1. Sack everyone in the FA. Everyone

1. Bring in new managers, with new ideas. Noone that, at this point, has coached a premier side team over 5 years should be allowed to coach ever again.

1. Give the young players time on the pitch. You can't decide if he has what it take until ha has played at least 5-10 games.

Follow this list and Sweden will be gunning for the WC in no time! ;)

/TSO

So Fell Autum Rain

I noticed an important change the other day. I was walking home through Slottskogen, the big park, in the rain. And it hit me, I have gone into autum mode. I tried to switch back to summer mode by pure force of will but as soon as I let my mind wander again I found it went back to autum mode. For thoose of you not already in sync with the workings of my mind (yeah thank God right?) I give you this list of examples of the modes. This is how the priorities change:


SPRING/SUMMER - AUTUM/WINTER
Outside serving area (Linnéterrassen) - Dark cellar pubs (Bishop's Arms)

Brooklyn Lager - Guinness

The Archipilago - The Cinema

GAIS at Ullevi - The Premier League in a sofa

All Along The Watchtower(Jimi Hendrix) - Not Going Away(Ozzy)

Beer infront of the TV - Tea watching a movie on the projector

Go for a walk - Don't get out of bed

Sunglasses - Nightvision gogglges


Most of all I long for a pitch black Guinness in a comfy chair at Bishops Arms. I can practicly taste it. Alas I am stuck at the ER another 8 ½ hours. Maybe tomorrow night. Until then, some mood pictures:

It's not necessarily worse or more depressing or whatever. It's just more ...withdrawn perhaps. Slower, darker, less energetic. But sweet in it's own ways. Less going out meeting people and more meeting up with the people you already know and like. Which is much better since most people are idiots anyway... :)

So I have accepted that the summer is all but over. The autum is here.

Let the leaves die,
the darkness come,
the rain fall.

I stand ready.

/TSO

New layout

And so we thank TSO for the new layout or whatever you call it!

Call to arms....

After some leaders of the guild shinibana had enough they one day decided to start a pact, a pact of Alliance guilds that aimed on invading Horde cities and killing their faction leaders.

As i write this the guilds of Shinibana, CLOWN, Champions of the hall, Guild of fursu , Vlad Dracul and many others are in the pact and our ranks are growing every week as more and more guild join.

After two succesfull attacks against Orgrimar and Undercity and after some recruiting tehy decided to take on the City of the fairys(bloodelfs)
After massing at Lights hope chapel and after that moving on to the crossing that leads to Zul aman for summons we marched agains Silvermoon city.
Like a tide we swept through the streets of Silvermoon killing their guards and citizens, sparing no one.
The Guild of CLOWN, wich the writer belongs too, was the major guild in this battle, we had the tanks for both targets and alot of dps and healing and we managed very well.
Alas we were to few.
After a long battle when we managed to get the main target down to less than 40% horde reinforcements arrived mainly from the SWP rading guild OOM an dthey healed up the boss and killed our healers very quickly and later the gained more reinforcements that caused havok among our troops that finally found themself defeated, the battle continued a bit longer when we slowly fought our way out of the city again.
The next target of the pact is not revealed again, but know one thing Hefaistos and many other clowns will be there when the next attack takes off.

This was a quick introduction of the pact, hopefully more succesfull rewiev of attack will come later on.

Linky

No surrender // Instructum Abnormalis

Payne to the Max

Had nothing better to do so I surfed some pages on random and came upon something great. Max Payne, the movie! If you know what I'm talking about then you're as happy as I am. If you don't, then why bother explain?

Just watch the damn trailer and tell me you love it.

TRAILER

Särna - The Video

Here it is, the long awaited blockbuster movie of the year: Särna - The Video!
Enjoy!
(Rated R for strong language, animal cruelty and glorification of alcohol)



/TSO

Särna - the story behind the legend

There have been a huge buzz regarding this trip online and across the world. I heard that even CIA had an uptake in chatter during this week. So I decided it was best to write the true story so that no false rumors get a foothold.



The stoy is this: Four guys (TSO, IA, WillyBoy and The Borg) took a car and drove 7-8 hours north into a forrest so vast and dark that southern germany's Black Forrest seems a mere small shabby scale model. We set up basecamp in an old closed railwaystation some four kilometers from the nearest pizza. Soon we found that this spot had already been claimed. By one million and one mosqiutos. And in hindsight I can say that they may have drawn first blood, and won the war I guess since we went away and they are still there, but we won the battles and the ground were littered with the fallen mini-kamikazies.



Mosquitos were not our intended prey though. We had come for the fish. Unfortunally they had been tipped off, and had gone underground. Well underwater rather, but just as hard to find. First try were a bust, with The Borg the only one to catch something. A small perch.



We wrote this off as bad luck but as days passed things didn't get much better. Some perches here and there and one or two really small trouts were a far cry from the onslaugt of 2-3 kg trouts we wanted and half expected. So the last day we went to a Put & Take lake where we felt we would be guaranteed fish. Did we get any? Right you get the picture.



Unfortunatly the region suffered under a record heat wave that pushed the fishes to the bottom, and daily (and monstrous) thunderstorms didn't exactly help... One evening the lightning hit the powerline just outside the house, blowing up four(!!) fuseboxes and leaving us in utter darkness until about three in the night when a repairman came and fixed it. Still, it was just one more reason to stay up drinking a few beer infront of the fire and telling outragous storys...



Still, we were one week in the woods, every day by a new river or lake, caught some fish still and made lots of fires, some bbq's and spent the evenings playing Skitgubbe. All in all a great week. And one to be repeated I'm sure. With better luck in fishing though!



Last of all a thanks to The Borg for driving all those miles there and back again. Salut!

/TSO, The Scabrous One

PS. There is a video under construction. Will post it when finished!

Lack of updates.......

Well its summer and we all been busy drinking beer and travelling around, but now when were all back in th grey reality again we soon gonna start updating again.


/Instructum Abnormalis